Doing a little research on the topic of making news I came across a newspaper clipping generator that I thought that I would have a little fun with. As you can see the article is called “Conservative Austerity Goes Too Far”. But the clip of the article does not go to the end of your article, so I will show you the clip that the site generates and I will add the rest of the article on my blog. You will note, the newspaper generator asks that a person does not put the real names of people in their articles, so in respect to them I have changed the names of the guilty; you can read the full article below.
The site of the newspaper download is: http://www.fodey.com/generators/newspaper/snippet.asp
A Newspaper Articles We Expect to See in the Near Future
The Dog Post Times
The Harper Government Take Austerity Too Far
It may seem to many Canadians that Canada’s economy has improved and their future seems more secure, however, you’ll have to tell that to the Stephan Harper and his Conservative Government. Today, Harper’s toady, Jim Flaherty announced a plan to reduce the public sector. Flaherty said that they expect to reduce the public sector by 90% by the time of the 2015 Budget.
The first part of Flaherty’s plan is to slash wages by half. “That will make them rage”, said Flaherty, “but most of those who don’t like it will quit. That will go a long way to achieving our goal.”
He later said that “the Canadian public will thank me for bringing down the deficit and reducing their tax load. Now Canadians will be able to buy wieners and hamburg, instead of the dog food that they refused to get used to”. “Stake is for leaders and the rich. We are the only ones smart enough to get the meat and potatoes of life.”
Things really lightened up as he revealed the second phase of his plan to cut the bureaucracy in Ottawa. He laughed, and we could hardly understand his words, as he spoke a few more words, as he rolled on the ground, apparently unable to control himself. Piecing his sentence together, we think we heard him say, or laugh, “those that do not quit because of the pay cut will have their offices moved to portables on the historic Rideau Canal in the winter.” Harper, also rolling on the ground, and bumping into Flaherty, added, almost indistinguishably, “those who do not quit will find that their prospects will melt away in the spring”. Flaherty then chortled something else, perhaps in an elvish or leprechaun language.
Harper, roaring with laughter said, “I’m not sure if my pants will ever dry.” He then wiped a tear from his eye.
And what was the response of Canadian over the traumatic events to their fellow Canadians? “Does it effect me?” “No, said Jim.” “Then we don’t care.”
- How Austerity Chokes Canada’s Down-and-out (in Opinion) (thetyee.ca)
- The Conservatives’ economic stability message becoming a myth: Tim Harper (thestar.com)
- Austerity chokes the down-and-out, as Harper and Flaherty look the other way (apchernoff.wordpress.com)