For a long time I have believed that each emotion comes with its own chemistry; that is why I decided to be kind, helpful, friendly, funny (I hope), and friends with everyone with whom I come into contact with. Sure, there is a benefit to them that a friendly person comes up to them trying to brighten up their day, and bring them a smile, but it is also good for me. I end up with a small state of heaven around me wherever I go. That also impacts the quality of my life and theirs. One caution is that Designed Selfishness must be built on a genuine love of others, or emotionally, that world will end up collapsing around your feet.
A couple of notes.
When we chose our responses in advance it is easier to follow through to make them real.
You are arguing with someone and the phone rings, it is a stranger, and suddenly the tone of our voice changes. Sure evidence that we have more control over our emotions than we make ourselves believe.
Take control of your emotions, your responses. Don’t let your emotions that control of you.
A mature person takes control of their emotions, and not the other way around. Someone wants to argue with them, you are not beholden to them to argue back. A soft voice turneth away reproach.
Maturity comes first from knowing yourself.
Knowing yourself is the first step in maturity because becoming mature requires that you change your thinking and consequently your actions. To change you must first know from where you are beginning.
If you are looking for the good in life, you are more likely to find it.